Is This Fate Or What

There i was, driving from PJ to Klang everyday since the day i came down here to work. For those of you who doesn't know, i was being temporary transferred to head office to cover for my senior who went for maternity.

Yesterday as usual, while driving on the NKVE i was feeling a little blur from previous night imsomnia. I was overtaking cars at the speed of only 100km/hour. I always keep an eye on the rearview mirror when i drive. This red coloured waja with black bonnet looks a little weird following behind me closely. I move to the left that fella went follow behind me, i move to the right that fella again follow behind me. Feeling a little scared of who it might be, i just slow down a little and let him overtake me.

Raining and with the window winded down, he looked at me. I turned and...hei!!!

Three to four years back when i was working in Nippon Express, this guy was my operation boy's friend. We don't have each other's contact number or anything, cause i changed my phone number like...2 years ago.

When came to the traffic light to turn into Klang Valley, he stopped beside me and asked where am i going. Apparently he's now working in KCT.

I never thought i would meet someone on the highway like that though. A weird kind of happiness in me. I came from Penang to work in Klang, staying in PJ and i met this friend of mine who was from Butterworth and now working in Port Klang.

Good night....zzzZZZzzzZz

You say GOOD NIGHT when going to sleep at night.

What if you're going to sleep in the afternoon or in the morning.

What do you say then...??

Night ...Morning ...

The night starts when the sun goes down and the sky turns dark.

So....when does morning starts??

Husband vs Wife in Answering The Kids

Son : Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

Father : Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In here thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

Son : ??...Onions?

Father : Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

VS

Daughter : Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

Mum : Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.""

Daughter : ??? A Christmas tree?

Mum : Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!

Queen Beats Dolly In Heaven

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton died on the same day and both go Before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so Angel must decide which of them gets in.

Angel asks Dolly if there's any particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.

Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She spits into a commode and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush? Beats a pair - No matter how big they are."

My Baby Talks...My Version

Last night i called and spoke to Ah Girl....

Me : Hello hello hello hello .....

Ah Girl : EROIYKOHKGOKS &^%$^#$%$#@#$
(where the hell are you???)

Me : Hi....!!! Hello.....hello....ah girl....

Ah Girl : bububababakrjlwreiuroiyeiue
(why didn't you come see me? )

Me : Baby girl....hei.....hi....hahaahaha

Ah Girl : *^&^$%@$#WEOGJSDFEDJISF
(you better come back soon...before i get angry)

Me : hahahahah aiyo...hehehehe so cute .....(on the speaker to let bro and GF listen to ah girl)

Ah Girl : bababubuulkdjlakj tatatatattatatatat
(ok fine....you dowan to come right then...tata ...bye..)

Me : hehehehe tata..bye bye ....baby girl byebye....

Missing Plate

Was stopped by the police last Thursday while driving to work.

Police : Ah moi...nombor plate dah pecah. Nasib baik belum jatuh. Kalau jatuh nombor pun tak leh nampak.

Me : I baru datang dari Penang ni...ni baru aje kena. I pun tak tau mana nak buat plate.

Police : Tak pe la...pas tu...ekzos tu...tak leh guna tau...i saman kasi ekzos ya?

Me : Huh ??? Bang..i dah pakai kereta ni tuk 5 tahun lebih...tak pernah kena saman pasal ekzos ni.

Police : Kereta siapa ni?

Me : Kereta i la...tapi beli 2nd hand...datang sama ekzos ni.

The police then walk to the back, have a look at my exhaust and came to me again.

Police : Tak pe la ah moi...u bagi i nombor talipon you...bila i ada potong mana-mana ekzos, i jual kat u murah murah.

Me : ohhh ok ok .....014 +++++++

Police : Ohhh...bagus...sama sama digi...call pun murah sikit.

I then resume my journey to work. I was then thinking to myself. This stupid policemen, if he were to potong other kancil's exhaust, it sure to be some not approve by the government or something.

Soon after work i had my number plate done at the shop just a few shops from my office. All nicely done and i drove home with the new plate.

The next day i drove to work as usual. Even checking the new shiny plate before i started off from home. I reached office quite early. Work as usual until almost 10pm when i was about to leave.

I came down and ....................MY FUCKING NEW PLATE IS MISSING......

Bro brought me to get a new one done on Sat. This time i had it SCREWED.