Husband vs Wife in Answering The Kids

Son : Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

Father : Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In here thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

Son : ??...Onions?

Father : Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

VS

Daughter : Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

Mum : Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.""

Daughter : ??? A Christmas tree?

Mum : Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!